After my previous post last Tuesday all about being thankful, I found it difficult to follow my own advice when I hurt my back worse and found myself in bed for days with no end to the pain in sight. But on the brink of throwing in my yoga towel, this appeared in my Instagram feed:
Yes, @writersatelier, I did need it too.
So I can’t do my regular yoga routine, I said to myself…
I can Keep Showing Up for myself as a writer. I’ve let my blog fall by the wayside far too long. I haven’t written a new poem this year. I haven’t submitted an old poem since March. If I can’t focus on my physical yoga practice, I can dedicate my time back to writing.
I can Keep Showing Up as a daughter. I rely on my mom a lot to help with my son when I’m injured or sick. What can I do to show her how much I appreciate her? (I haven’t quite come up with anything yet because I’m not sure what could express the depths of my gratitude for her, but I try to show her in small ways as much as I can.)
I can Keep Showing Up as a wife. I guilted my husband and lashed out viciously when work kept him from being available while I was laid up. I forgot “How to Communicate Like A Buddhist,” this past weekend. But, I can apologize. I can let it go. I can accept his forgiveness. And I can remember for next time, he’s doing the best he can too.
And most importantly, I can Keep Showing Up as mama. Nothing makes me feel lower than missing out on time with my son. But moms get sick too and our kiddos need to know we’re not robots who can be rebooted or repaired in a predictable amount of time. For now, I’ll do the best I can, and when my back is back to good, I can make the time to spend with him doing the things we love to do (involves a lot of running around).
And the next time I feel like I’ve failed, I can choose to Keep Showing Up. Because most of the times, our biggest setbacks end up being “the best thing that happened” to us later on. Namaste.
Do you have a mantra helping you be a Zen mama? Contact me if you’re interested in sharing it here on Zen Mama Mantras.