Say I Am Instead of I Want

In October, I attended a Wise Working Women networking meeting with guest speaker Elizabeth Gifford Maffei of BEmpowerfulU Coaching. She’s an intuitive coach, and her discussion was on how to ask and listen to the angels in our lives. Now, as a non-religious but spiritual person, I’m not one for using such definitive terms as “angels” but I’ve learned through experience and study not to get caught up in the semantics. Sure enough, should she have replaced “angels” with “energy” or “muses” or “spirit guides,” she would’ve been speaking the same language as any other spiritual leader or creative writing teacher.

For me, the most significant message was in her conclusion.

“Do not say ‘I want,’ tell yourself, ‘I am.’ I am going to get that job. I am going to make $10,000 this year. I am going to find love. I am going to, fill-in-the-blank.”

We all clapped, she took her seat and it was time for the raffle. Elizabeth brought a small angel carved from aventurine (pictured above) – a green stone perfect for healing and balancing the heart chakra. I wanted it. So naturally, I was telling myself, “Oh! I want it!” But in the moment before our hostess, Tracy pulled a name, I adjusted and told myself, “I am going to get that angel.”

I suppose you can guess where this story ends. I got the angel and named her Ava, short for aventurine so I’d remember what she was made of.

And as a result, I am now becoming aware of how often I say to myself, “I want…”

For instance, I want to be able to grab my foot behind my head in pigeon pose. Or, in more technical terms, I want to be able to get into Both Hands to Feet Bound One-Legged King Pigeon Pose 1 or I’ll settle for One-Legged Pigeon Pose 1.

King Pigeon Pose from 2100 Asanas book
Photo taken from my copy of “2,100 Asanas: The Complete Yoga Poses” by Daniel Lacerda.

Right now I can do this:

zen-mama-me-in-pigeon-with-foot_zen-mama-me-in-pigeon

On the other side:

zen-mama-me-in-pigeon-left-side

As you can see, I’ve got a long way to go. But, with Elizabeth’s advice, “I AM going to reach my foot by the end of 2018.”

It will be in large part due to the fact that I told my yoga coach Tracy (the very same who was hostess to our Wise Working Women meeting I mentioned above) about my goal. If I hadn’t I would’ve ended up hurting myself. Big yoga lesson right here: when you see a pose you want to do, don’t hit the mat and try to force your body into it. Most likely, if it’s an advanced pose, there are other poses and stretches to do in order to build up to it.

As is the case with my 2018 goal pose. And, Tracy being the amazing yoga teacher and wellness coach she is, she provided me with personalized instructional videos for me to refer back to. The one below is to help safely work into a split which I’ll need to be able to do in order to pull my foot high enough to reach it.

Other poses she instructed me to use:

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All of them involve opening the hips and stretching the hamstrings and the psoas. All of which are crucial to succeeding in reaching my foot.

So, from now on, my mantra is, “I am.”

I am going to get stronger.

I am going to be more flexible.

I am going to get into Both Hands to Feet Bound One-Legged King Pigeon Pose 1.

I am getting my yoga teacher certificate.

I am going to focus on my body this year – caring for it and building its strength.

What is something you want that you can change into an “I am” statement? Leave me a message in the comments.


Do you have a mantra helping you be a zen mama? Or a lesson you’ve learned along the way you want to share with other mamas to help them be more zen? Contact me if you’re interested in posting it here on Zen Mama Mantras.

All yoga pose photos were taken from my copy of “2,100 Asanas: The Complete Yoga Poses” by Daniel Lacerda.

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