Once we as parents accept our reality, it gets a lot easier to weather the storms of parenthood. It’ll never get easy, but it can get easier.
With her expert status and as one of the most Zen mamas I know, I asked her to grant me an interview. She graciously accepted and our Q&A session is below. For more on what to do with the plants she mentions, read her book recommendation at the end (she lent me her copy, and it’s good).
This being the first year I’ve been systematic in turning lessons learned into mantras, I decided what better way to start of ZenMamaMantras in 2018 than with the ones I’ve developed based on lessons learned in 2017? Especially since 2017 was one of the most blessed and most difficult years of my adult life.
Children often don’t realize how little is within our control as parents. We learn that ourselves over the years. For many of us, it’s a lesson of acceptance after many failed attempts to control everything. When they’re little, we can choose their food, what’s on TV, what clothes they wear, what time they bathe and lay down to bed. But at no age can we choose the who’s and the what’s outside our home.
I wanted it. So naturally, I was telling myself, “Oh! I want it!” But in the moment before our hostess, Tracy pulled a name, I adjusted and told myself, “I am going to get that angel.”
Kono Naturals, though, is local for me, and I’d already had a chance to try their product. I found out too, that they were available for purchase in some local shops, which is how I prefer to shop. Not that I don’t shop online, but when I can I like to support local and have face-to-face interaction. So I ran to one of the co-ops nearby and picked up my own bottle of citrus-flavored CBD oil to add to tea at home.
I knew this. I knew having kids would be messy.
What I didn’t expect was discovering the petrified half-eaten slices of bologna in the Lego box. What I didn’t expect more, was for this to happen on a somewhat regular basis.
I’m a big fan of coaches. Life coaches, health coaches, career coaches, yoga coaches, etc. After almost two-and-a-half years of therapy, I was tired of examining the past and at the right time, two fantastic coaches entered my life. My career coach explained to me the difference between therapy and coaching was exactly that. Therapy focuses on your past and coaching focuses on your present to future.
What I do know, is the greatest honor I can give his memory is to never forget how short life is. How fleeting our opportunities to be with people we love are. How lucky I am to have a spark of light for a husband. How lucky I am that I got to know Sam and I’m getting to know Susan better now. How lucky I am to have kids, and a mom, and a mother-in-law, and friends to drive me crazy!
There was a time when I would’ve been humiliated despite there being no one to bear witness to my tampon crisis and underwear snafu. I would’ve called myself all kinds of names synonymous with dumb. I would’ve packed it in, called it a night, kissed my $25 and girl’s night out goodbye because who wants this dumb b*tch who can’t even pull on her underwear the right way at their yoga event?
Natalie Henry-Charles is giving up on trying to fit into one checkbox and giving in to the process of motherhood.